New Grounds

I'll let you know when I'm there.
To see you happy, I'll let you know.
I'll let you know how I am,
To see you happy, I'll lie.
I'll let you know where I am,
But you won't find me.
I'll show you the field i sow,
Tall buildings, small people.
I'll walk miles with you,
Just to see you happy.
I'll tell myself this lie,
"Just to see you happy".
I got the eye thats above and beyond,
But I have lost a lot for this.
But "I'm happy", I guess,
"Just to see you happy".
I'll show you my heart,
Such a piece of art,
Abstract.
I'll tell you I don't exist,
"Just to see you cry".
I'm a storyteller that's what i do,
Tell stories.
Sky below, earth above,
I fall head down,
But thats how I see it,
"Sky below, earth above".
So i reach new oblivions,
Break new grounds.
I guess "I'm fine",
If thats what they call it.
I can't drown further,
Reached the bottom,
Still alive.
King of the dead fish,
And death, my slave,
"Conquered" new ground,
Years ago.
I age twice,
"Compelled" new ground.
Fades away.
I'll take you to a room,
Lock you inside myself,
Scared?
You should be.
"Undesired" new ground.
No escape, no way out.
I'll take you far away,
To a place between sky and earth,
Leave you there,
Alone,
Scared again?
You shouldn't be,
I'll be there,
Upside down,
Watching you.
I'll show you how i dissolve,
Within my own breaths,
Amazed?
"Achieved" new ground.
Dont blink,
You'll miss it,
I'll show you how,
I blow my brains out,
"Suicidal" new ground.
Petrified?
Dont be,
Not my first time.
I'll be your best friend in the dark,
Because it defines me,
I can define it.
Confused?
You should be,
And I am not surprised why,
You've never been in there before.
You dont know how amazing it is,
"Mysterious" new ground.
Stay close,
You might die inside this bowl,
Only "dead fish" lives here,
They know how to survive this.
You don't,
You can't,
You won't last a moment.
I'll tell you what i dream about,
It's a place i go to,
Meet myself, see me old,
Wrinkled and weak,
Shaking and not awaking,
So i sleep young,
Wake up old,
I switched places a long time ago,
With the old man i saw.
He was clever, I was not,
So now I'm the dream,
He's the awakening.
Yes I still linger there,
Captivated within myself,
"Imprisoned" new ground.
The chains heavy,
The room small and dark,
He keeps feeding me,
With fables and things,
I can't comprehend,
And I'm starting to get a liking to it,
Ensuring my life sentence.
I'll do my time,
But I'll be old then,
And "he" would be young,
Like I said,
Upside down,
A place between sky and earth.
Wait till I come out of here,
Just wait I promise i'll be out,
"Unfaithful" new ground.

Lost and Found

Find me, I'm lost somewhere in the light and the dark. Find me, I'm lost somewhere in the black and white. Find me, I'm lost somewhere between life and death. Find me please, I'm lost somewhere in a beggar's pot and a king's crown. Find me, I'm lost in blood and water; one flows from the top of a mountain, the other from a treasure of secrets untold and unheard of. Find me, I'm lost somewhere like centuries dried ink in a book, I'm lost like the treasure of Solomon, like the holy grail, like the book of Eli. Find me, I'm lost somewhere in a dying man's last breath and a newborn's first cry. I'm lost somewhere in humanity and tyranny. Please find me,I'm lost from quiet a while now. I'm lost somewhere in the first glance of love and the last aching goodbye. I have been lost for ages and i will remain that way until you find me. I'm not a treasure but not any less.

Look inside yourself and you might find me. I was there when you conquered the world, I was the apple of your eye when you invented and pondered, when you cared, when you could feel, when you were a man, a human, a creature of God. Find me in the crimson red of your heart and the deep black of your eye. I don't know how you gambled me when both the sides of this coin were the same. Find me if you want to find me. Find me in a mirror staring at yourself or at a window staring at the world. I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere, I'm where you will start looking for me. I'm the dark night in which you sit and cry your heart out. I;m the breaking streak of light into your darkness, I'm the mountain that is little shown and mostly hidden, I'm the flow of water and I'm the beauty of how it never misses it's path, never flows upstream, never fuses into something smaller but larger than itself.

I'm the submission of droplet into a thin stream, the submission of a stream into a river, a river's into a sea and I'm the sea's submission into an ocean. I'm a cycle that never ends, a system that never fails. I'm the day after the lonely night and the night after a tiring and busy day. I'm the cloud that rains and the soil that blooms into fields. I'm the echo in a cave, I'm the silence in a conversation. I'm the blink of an eye and the never ending hot summer day. I'm the sweat of the poor and wine of the rich. I follow a sequence yet i have no pattern. I'm the whisper of an ant, I'm the silence of the thunder. I'm the scent of a page and I'm the knowledge of an old age. I'm the burning candle in the night and I'm the moth that follows the light. I'm the fuel of the burning lamp that shows you the way, I'm the map that never lets you astray. I'm the blackest of the black and the whitest of the white yet I'm grey. I'm the hot blood of the earth and the cold heart of the moon.

Find me, I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere, I am where you will start looking for me. I'm lost and sad, I'm sad because i can see you yet you can't find me. Your thirst can only be quenched if you are thirsty, your muscles relaxed if you are tired, your stomach satisfied if you are hungry, your destination reached if you have one. Please find me I'm a secret known by only a few- and they know how to keep a secret.

It's Not Always That Easy

Why do you make me walk for miles in search of you, what is it that you hold for me, what are you and how are you? I'm tired but do you ever think about this? well, in the first place you never asked me to follow you but i just have to follow why can't you understand i have to keep following you until i'm there and i know i never will be there, its the ground underneath me that will keep going and going back as i advance but i know i'll never reach you. I'll keep walking the earth but i will never reach you. i know you are something, i know you hold something for me, i know you have it with you, but how long do i have to keep running and walking for you? you've got me crawling for you, i call out but you are too far to listen to me, and i know you would stop for me if only you could hear me cry out for you. but yet you keep going and going knowing that i would be shouting at you, blaming you for being too fast. i will swim after you, run, walk and jump off after you. no terrain is too high or rough to reach you. until i have strength and even after it worns out i'll be keep coming and following you. will I ever reach you? this question is the fuel to my struggle.

Where will this search for you take me and in what state would i be then? how would i look after following you for so much longer that i won't even remember from where i started and where it ended. this quest will eventually end, this hope keeps me going on. something fake i know but i'll hold on to it anyway, i'll strangle it to death. it seems like a continuum which means that it's thousands of segments looks the same but both ends of it are different. i want to start the same but end differently. i want to look the same but die differently. i want to be the same but after i'm done looking for you, i want to be different or else all this was for nothing. End me if you can. but no you won't because in order to do that, you'll have to follow me, i'll be your ultimate quest, your search, and i'm not that cruel to put you in the state i am. i am used to how i am, i am used to searching for you, follow you crawling and whining about how hard it is. thats the only way i know, thats the only way i am. but you, you are different, you have been searching too, been hunting for what you've been looking for and now that you have found it, you have became it. you know it's ways, you know how it was, how you are now. so teach me too but your distance from me tells me that this is the only way to learn, the only way to know what you are so i will follow, as long as you can take me, as long as i can follow, as long as you don't get tired and i know you won't, you have your own ways.

What if i finally reach you? how will you ever face me, how did you accepted what you were following? werent you angry how far it was, how long it took you to be there, how you cried and it wont listen to you? how did you then after all this accepted it? i know your answer would be then why am i following you? well that is because thats the only way i know how to live; following you, looking for you, in search of you. what if you don't even exist and all this were just rumors? then i can proudly say that when the world was following earthly desires, i followed you. i followed what i couldn't see but saw, couldn't hear but heared, couldn't touch but touched. you have your own way of making me follow you, you leave traces behind. you leave places behind, memories that tells me you were here. i have always been the past for you but you have always been the future for me. one day i will find you and be you. but i will not make the one following me suffer the way you suffered me. i can now only wish you didnt had the same promising words spoken while you were in my place because if you did, then you are doing it all wrong! And i have been following you ever since to tell you this.

Confessions

I cannot see, i cannot feel
I cannot be myself anymore,
My heart closed, the pain's overdosed
I cannot open the same door,

I run n run but find no place to stay,
I hear ppl tawk abt a place far away
This silence in my hart is giving way,
To the thunders of a judgment day.

I walk in a million, i talk to a billion
But i cnt find solace anymore,
My hart a cactus in a cold dessert
It wont need a rain anymore,

I run n run but find no place to stay
I hear ppl talk abt a place far away,
This silence in my hart is giving way
To the thunders of a judgment day,

I feel lyk burning inside wid arms open wide,
And i dont need a saviour anymore.

The Storyteller

When everything is lost, I know i'll have you. When hope is exhausted, I know you'll be there. But who are you? Why dont you ever say something? Why dont you ever express? Your eyes know something and I know that. You have been places, seen things, felt things. I'm sorry but I know that. Am I supposed to know it? Am I supposed to care? You never ask me for something, never complain, you just sit and listen with your heart wide open to me, feels like being with you, that moment. Who are you? What are you? Why are you this way? And why do I get to know you when I have all these deaf people around me, Why do I want you to listen when I know that you are a momentarily partner in my pain, when I know that when you walk away, You will open this very own heart of your's to something else and forget I even existed, forget we talked, spent some moments together. Are you this way to everyone around you? These questions can never let go of me, never exhausts me of thinking about them. I know there are no answers to them yet I seek them in the lonely night, when I am with me. And there you come again, you sit in front of me, your eyes wait to witness the unfolding of another story, your heart wide open again, do you even care or is it just your habit? Or am I just your hobby? You will listen and I would know where this all will end, yet you listen and I tell. We are both alike, we know where it goes, we know what happens when the story ends, Isn't that knowing each other?